Twisted Sister: 3/1/11

Men in Heaven

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter the Pearly Gate, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.

I want all the women to report to St. Peter.
Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the head of your household!
You have been disobedient and not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

Sans the Priss

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #76

7 Royal Questions on Tuesday

The Prissy Meme

The Queen Says:
"Many things have been said about me. Some are true. Some are lies. Some are fair. Some are sinister. But there is one indisputable not-so-secret secret about Yours Truly. I love being a girl.
That is a fact.

I know what you're thinking, guys. You can't possibly do a prissy meme even on threat of dungeon duty. Not to fear. And quite frankly, unless you're a metrosexual and want to talk about yourself, you can still answer this meme about the females in your life. So let's powder up and get on with the makeover.
(**warning** I couldn't stop at 7 questions this week)"

1. What is your favorite lipstick color and why?

Lipstick annoys me...

but I have been known to use Softlips Lip Balm.

Flavour of the day:

Sugar Plum Berry

2. How long does it take you to get ready to go to work in the morning?

Lets see... I stumble to the bathroom, then make coffee, then stumble to my desk and stare stupidly at my computer until the coffee takes effect... so I'd say 15 minutes.

3. Do you have your nails professionally done? Mani? Pedi?

You are joking right?

4. Tell us about your latest spa experience - real or imagined.

You're joking again. You know I'm missing the prissy gene.

5. Is there something you'd like to change about your appearance?

Yes.

Would you ever have cosmetic surgery?

Yes.

And I'm really glad you didn't ask What or Why.

6. How do you take care of your skin?

I have a cabinet full of every anti-aging product known to man. That answer your question?

7. Tell us your secrets for vibrant, shiny, healthy-looking hair.

Don't wash it for 3 days and trust me... it will SHINE!

8. What is your favorite fragrance?

OCD... I'm a little obsessive.

9. Everyone has a certain color they love to wear. What is yours?

Shades of brown and shades of green...

can you tell I'm an earth sign?

10. Do you have ink?

It's on my list of things to do.

11. How would you describe your personal style?

Soft, Shady, Earthy and Obsessive sans the Priss.

Badge of the Day

Weekend Funnies

A man is sitting on the veranda with his wife and he says, “I love you.”

She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”

He replies, “It’s me……….

talking to the beer.”

Out of the coven

Welcome to The Queen's Meme

7 Royal Questions on Tuesday

#75 The Mimi Moon Meme

She's threatening a little dungeon time so it's time to play...

The Queen Says:

The SuperMoon graced the Universe Saturday evening! Since it was a much publicized worldwide event, I thought that we as global blogging citizens should share in the telling from our respective corners of the world. And if you didn't happen out this weekend to have some lunar fun, play along anyway. I'm sure I can think of SOMEthing to ask of relevance. And besides, the lunar phase has made me antsy to do a little dungeon throwing. I haven't in a long time.
Can you moon the walk or just talk the talk?

Do your best, my friends.
Do your best.
Your future depends on it.
There's a bad moon rising.

1. Did you take a picture of the moon SuperMoon Saturday evening?
If so, please post it. If not, steal one and post it.

I just happened to be flying by on my broom so I did manage to get a couple of shots.

Actually it was Sunday evening.

I know that's cheating but it was too cloudy to go flying on Saturday!

Bad Moon Rising

Moontastic!

2. Have you ever howled at the moon?

I howled during my fly by...

3. Do you believe that feelings and emotions are affected by the changes in lunar phases? (ie: children misbehave, lovers misbehave, tempers fly)

Well according to Wiccan beliefs, the moon amplifies everything from sexual desire to murder.
Just sayin'..... going back to my coven now.

4. In the language of astronomy, the two extremes of the moon are called ''apogee'' (far away) and ''perige" (nearby). Who or what would you like to be apogee and who/what perige?
(Crikey! I can now talk moon talk!)

My mind is always apogee. I wish it was a little more perigee. Or at least somewhere in the middle.... I think that's called Poopigee.

5. Name a famous moon walker.

Does Michael Jackson count?

6. Scientists claim there is no relation whatsoever between a Supermoon and natural disasters. Yet we have experienced tsunamis and earthquakes in the last 7 days on Earth. Do you believe them?

Yeah and there was a time when they determined the earth was flat. I could have told them differently... after all I flew around it enough times... but they burned witches back then so I kept it to myself.

7. Creedence Clearwater Revival sang about the evil of the moon.

Is there a Bad Moon Rising in your life?

ummm

that

would

Monday's Chuckle

An old guy was in Costco the other day, pushing his shopping trolley around, when he collided with a young guy also pushing a trolley.

He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.

The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with long blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra.

What does your wife look like?"

The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."