Half truths and Half lies
Opening…
Do you get regular massages?
Yes. I have a cat who loves to rub and wind around my ankles.
Do you have an answering machine?
Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you.
What cuss word do you use the most?
I use cuss phrases and I like to mix them up.
Are you underweight or overweight?
I am a perfect weight.
Can you see your veins?
Yes I can but it really worries me that you're asking that...
Favorite…
Soap?
Soap? Is this a trick question? Do you mean soap as in Soap Opera... or soap as in the stuff I wash with... which is kinda personal by the way. Who would ask that?
Fruit?
Green seedless grapes.
Kind of red meat?
Nope.
Fish?
Nope.
Candy bar?
Mars.
Have You Ever…
Eaten a whole bag of potato chips?
A small bag yes. A large bag no. That's why I'm a perfect weight.
Eaten lobster?
Yes.
Climbed a mountain?
Yes. Maybe not all the way up....
Been skydiving?
Sure. Why not? I love the thrill of falling from an altitude of 13500 feet.
Been water skiing?
No... I have a fear of water.
Do You…
Wish you could change something about your life?
Naw... everything is just freakin' peachy.
Like your nose?
This is a very weird and strange meme...
Like salt and vinegar chips?
Yes.
Eat salsa?
Yes.
Own a boat?
A yacht.
What Is…
A small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequences?
Their dirty little secrets... then again it could be their taxes. Who knows?
Your most macho trait?
My ability to lie and keep a straight face.
The longest relationship you’ve ever had?
Technically that would be my mother.
Your most embarrassing thoughts?
Bwaahhhhaa!
You wish.
Your most shameful moment?
Not likely.
This/That…
Bath/Shower?
Both.
Markers/Crayons?
I knew it! You work on psych ward don't you?
Pens/Pencils?
Oh I get it... you're a patient on the psych ward aren't' you?
Jelly/Cream Cheese?
Both.
Bagel/Toast?
Both.
Finish…
My greatest weakness is…
Diamonds.
I wish I was…
an oscar meyer weiner???
Three things I wouldn’t do for a million dollars are…
#1.tell the truth on a meme.
#2. give up my trust fund.
#3. tell you who my daddy is.
The oddest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth is…
probably my foot.
Firsts…
Credit card you had?
For my sixteenth birthday.
Loan you got was for?
I never needed one - my Daddy is rich.
Paycheck was for how much?
Don't know... my money supply is endless!
Time you had stitches?
When I was 25.
Time you went to the hospital for something?
I was in and out of the hospital for the first year of my life... and I can't say I really remember much about it!
Lasts…
List everything you ate in the last 24 hours?
There you go... wishin' again
Last thing you used a credit card for?
Diamonds.
What was your job previous to the one you have now?
Diamond buyer.
Last thing you celebrated?
New Year's.
Last time you were at a sports bar?
I don't do sports bars.